“What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.”
The very first fear that I can remember in my life was my fear of walking down the dark wooden steps to my family’s dark damp basement. It’s a fear that I share with all four of my siblings—we used to waste so much time arguing or bargaining over who would go down first and turn on the lights! But one day, I guess my mom had had enough of stopping her work to go turn on the basement lights for us half a dozen times a day. She taught me something that freed me—freed me to be the first one down those steps every time. She sat me down (as the oldest one at home at the time) and taught me that verse out of Psalms, the verse that is hidden deep in my heart and still comforts my soul to this day.
“What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.” I took another step, holding onto the railing with all of my might! “What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.” I made it one step at a time, repeating the verse every time I took another step down the stairs. I vividly remember those steps and that verse being repeated over and over. Amazingly, I never needed anyone else to go down and turn on the lights for me again! God’s Word has power. From that day on, I was the big sister who would turn the lights on for the other kids every day. (And my mom could do her work un-interrupted! A fact I appreciate more these days… 🙂 )
Today, I am faced with more fears than I thought possible. I’m four months into this whole step-mom thing, and here’s the latest realization that has hit me: Having a child = multiplied fears. Sometimes the fear overwhelms me—what if she chokes on the granola bar I give her while she’s playing in her room, and I don’t hear her? What if I lose her in the store? (Probably not possible at this point, since my fear makes me demand that she holds my hand the whole time…I know she’s 4 years old, just humor me…I’m new at this, as if it were my first time baby! 🙂 ) What if she doesn’t have friends in her class, what if she has a nightmare and I don’t hear her cry?
As a teacher, I get lots of training in child care and protection, and the statistics I hear in meetings can sometimes send my heart into panic mode. 1 out of every 4 little girls will be abused at some point in her childhood. I know way more than four little girls…and the fear I feel thinking about that… I will do everything in my power to make sure my little girl never has to face that! I could go on and on about my fears and what ifs. I have to be careful about not being an over-protective parent…Yeah, I even fear about that! But don’t worry, Abe won’t let me be too over-protective. He is the opposite of me, and is one of those scary people who has no fear of anything. I just pray somehow we will balance each other and our kids out… 😉
The verse is still true though, whether it is me as a child scared of the dark basement, or me as an adult, scared to face the realities of our world and the way they affect my family. I can still trust in God. It’s easy to want to run away—Satan sends those thoughts about how I could still be on my own and single and living for myself. But then I would have never seen how much I need God, I need Him to help me and my family and to guide us through this crazy life. So instead of running away, I take one step of faith at a time…”What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee.”
Do you have a particular verse that has helped you overcome fear? It is amazing how conquering one fear gives you courage to face the other fears! I hope you can find a verse that you can just repeat over and over until you are free from your fear. Because it will free you—the Bible says “The truth will set you free,” and fear is a liar! The truth is God is on our side, He hears us and sees us, and wants good for us, not evil. Feel free to contact me if you want a list of other fear verses! 🙂